I was a little lost.
I’m the queen of my house. I reign by default. Even the dog is male. I answer to Trace, Tracey, Mom, Hey, ‘Come-ere, and Ruff.
I grew up thinking I could be anything...
At the age of ten I wanted to be a chef, until I realized chefs needed to work nights and weekends. Somewhere in my teens I decided I wanted to be a poet, until I realized poets rarely get paid. During college I fell in love with copywriting and thought that was the way to be a paid poet. During grad school Stu Hyatt, my copy mentor, gave me a fabulous gift- the first edition of A Few Figs From Thistles by Edna St. Vincent Millay- with a note inside to “limit your poetic instinct unless you’re writing a poem.” I took his advice, landed an agency copywriting job and tucked my poetic instinct…away.
Life is a circle. You need to roll with it.
I fell in love, got married, started a family, stopped working and then became a chef (at the same time I assumed the role of maid although that was never a dream of mine). Eight weeks after I stopped working I started freelance copywriting. I thought I needed to think more. This whole thinking nonsense led me to starting an ad agency and then that led teaching and that led to a custom stationery business and then that led back to advertising.
Somewhere within the space of managing a career and babies and dinner and laundry, I discovered that managing wasn't all it was cracked up to be and juggling was for clowns. I was tired and unfulfilled. I was certain that I was missing a very big something, but I couldn't quite put my finger WHAT that something was. So I kept pushing and pushing and pushing until I realized that very big something was me.
I was missing me.
The happy me. The creative me. The passionate me. The connected me.
You will be surprised to learn that a choir of angels did not appear with that realization on a silver platter. Hardly. Guilt appeared with a heaping side of shame. It said, "How can you not feel happy and connected? How can you not feel passionate and free? Technically, there is nothing wrong with you. You are just being selfish. Who do you think you are to think you deserve something more when you already have so much?"
You've met Guilt and Shame, too? Those two freaks are relentless.
For reasons I will never (and do not need to) understand, I decided to ignore them. I decided to admit that I wasn't happy out loud. I told my husband. I told my friends. I allowed my self to say it. And then I decided to write my way out. That was 2010.
It's nice to meet you.
I'm so grateful to connect with you in this curious web that defies time and space because neither time nor space matters half as much as we like to think.
In this lifetime alone, it took me approximately 41 years to figure that out. I say approximately because I know I didn't give a hoot about time and space when I was younger. So, technically, there was that time when I was fully present and had the world by the balls, followed by a few decades of living inside the box of what society deems acceptable human behavior, followed by the time that I popped out of the box with the full realization that society's beliefs are not mine, time doesn't matter and space is completely unbound <insert huge exhale>.
So I'll begin my story where we both are: here and now.
I am a mom to two handsome teenagers who sometimes make my hair stand on end and I am happy to report that I return that favor on occassion. I am a wife to a man who is shockingly cool with, and fully supportive of, me living out loud as a medium and energy practitioner. I am a daughter, sister and friend to a group of people who, upon learning that I would no longer subscribe to status-quo, deemed me crazy until they were able to see my crazy for what it is: a gigantic permission slip to live with courageous authenticity. But mainly, I'm just a living, breathing, feeling, loving, soul, full human. I Am.
Life is the process of coming to your senses about yourself.
I will say, I think it's ironic that I spent over 20 years creating messages for different mediums in advertising, only to finally discover that I was THE medium channeling messages. The Universe is hysterical like that.
The key to the process is allowing your senses to unfold in a way that's aligned with all the things that make you giddy. Admittedly, that's not always easy because the only way to figure out what lights your heart on fire is to navigate through the experiences that valiantly try to dampen your flames. Sometimes this feels like a twisted maze of wrong turns and dead ends; however, when you finally discover the path that makes the most sense to you all those twists and turns reappear as a brilliantly orchestrated, life-size, connect-the-dot puzzle. I believe you are born with a tool to connect said dots and it's called intuition.
Intuition is the woo within you.
The good news is that you arrive on this planet with an intuitive compass intact. Yes, every human is wired this way. It connects you to the Universe. It connects you to your family, friends, lovers, haters, strangers and neighbors. It connects you to a sea of potential energy that's loving and unlimited, graceful and gracious, and as deep and dreamy and miraculous as the life you're here to lead.
I believe your intuitive powers are capable of delivering heaven on earth. I believe that when you choose to live in the center of your truth with the best intentions, you disable fear, longing, stress, anxiety and disease and, in doing so, you discover freedom. I believe that synchronicity is a reminder that you and I are slice of the divine here to enjoy a destiny of greatness. It's why we're both on this page right now, defying the boundaries of time and space.
And I believe, when you allow your innate intuitive powers to fully develop you find the keys to your own kingdom of glory.